


I Cant Do It Myself

by Rose_Rassmusen



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Emotional, M/M, Spanking, cgl, not sexual (yet)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-26
Updated: 2016-02-26
Packaged: 2018-05-23 06:44:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6108400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rose_Rassmusen/pseuds/Rose_Rassmusen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A sinful fic about Ross having body issues and Brian feeding him treats. And treating him right.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Cant Do It Myself

**Author's Note:**

> I've gotten so much positive feedback about this work (which was originally three chapters) that I might add more on, but this is about as deep as the plot gets.

Ross had always been a little insecure with his body. He loved being held and carried but worried that he was too heavy. He had felt embarrassed by the fact that he wasn’t exactly the manliest man, but after meeting Arin and fitting into his life and friend group, Ross found he didn’t care as much about his submissive tendencies. He just exaggerated his more sadistic nature to compensate. The lingering tendency to be critical of his weight however stayed and sometimes Ross would go without eating all day without even realizing it. He cherished how much smaller he looked when he had eaten nothing but a salad in two days. Holly kept him fed at home and he confided in her his insecurities, finding comfort in how she gently encouraged him to set alarms on his phone in order to remind him to eat.

Then the stream happened and Ross found himself being spoon fed by his close friend and.. Enjoying it. Something about the way Brian spoke to him made him feel warm and safe inside, like even though the pudding he was being fed was junk and not good at all for Ross’s body, that it was okay because Brian said it was. And it wasn’t sexual, like Brian said. It was something else. At first Ross chuckled at the drawings and gifsets including him an Brian, he read tags of the art and saw things like “I’m sinning so badly” and “lord save my soul” but as more people drew art a tag kept popping up. “Cgl”. Ross wasn’t sure what it was, so he clicked the link which brought him to the full CGL tag.  
He was immediately bombarded by pastels and Child’s toys and a mantra of “daddy” this and “daddy” that. It was unsettling at first to be associated with what Ross assumed were age play blogs, but after a small amount of scrolling his trepidation faded away and he found himself actually enjoying the content. The thought of being taken care of… being allowed to just regress into a childlike state, being allowed to just react to stimuli as he wanted, without having to hesitate and calculate and react like a normal person. Ross found himself empathizing with the people in the posts. A deep ache took root in his chest and he realized that he desperately wanted to experience it.  
He wasn’t sure that he could go to Holly with this.. he loved her and all but it wouldn’t feel right asking her to do this with him. It couldn’t hurt to talk to her about it though. As he expected, she offered to help and when Ross shied away from the idea she suggested maybe he exercise the openness of their relationship and find someone that he would feel comfortable submitting to. There was only one person he could think of that he would be comfortable with.  
Days passed without incident and Ross was beginning to forget. A grumpcade session with Barry and Brian both had just ended and Ross hesitated to let Brian leave after Barry.    
“Hey, Brian?” he called from his place on the sofa as the older man stood in the doorway.  
 “Hm?” he turned around slightly so he could see Ross on the couch, nervously shifting in his seat.    
“Do you ever…” Ross hesitated. “Have you ever heard of CGL?”  
 Brian closed the door and backed into the room, sitting on the sofa arm, looking down at Ross. “It depends.. that acronym stands for a lot of things.”    
Ross felt his face grow hot with embarrassment. “Well… the um… it’s Caregiver and Little.”  
 Brian raised an eyebrow, a knowing look in his eyes. “Like a daddy kink. Ross, do you have daddy issues?” Brian chuckled a little and then frowned when Ross was silent. “Oh.”   
"It’s not a kink.” Ross said softly, looking at the ground away from Brian. “It’s more than that.”  
 “Care to elaborate?”    
“Well it’s like.. life as an adult is stressful, you know? We have to do everything for ourselves, we have to be careful what we say, things like that. But… wouldn’t it be nice if for a little while you didn’t have to be an adult? You don’t have to worry about bills and making dinner and what the world thinks of you. That’s what CGL is.. I think.” once Ross started talking the words poured out. “It’s like, regressing back to childhood, but because it’s something that is intimate and personal, most people who do that… ‘littles’ have their most trusted person accompany them in that place. it’s usually their spouse or something. and that person is their ‘caregiver’. their mommy or daddy. It sounds sick, I know, but it’s not sexual. It’s not sexual. it’s emotional.” when he finished, Ross looked up at Brian, afraid of what he’d see.  Brian’s mouth was a straight line, his eyes darting from place to place, analyzing the way Ross was sitting, the emotions playing out on his face. He waited a good long moment before speaking.  
“Ross.” he finally spoke, his voice a quiet rumble. “Are you asking me to be your daddy?” He let nothing away, let no emotions show themselves on his face. He didn’t want to influence Ross one way or the other but inside he was ecstatic. His coworkers had surely noticed his paternal behavior, especially concerning Ross, and most had just chalked it up to him actually being a father. but now here Ross was, confessing his deepest fantasies to Brian for a reason.  Ross Looked down and kept his eyes down for a long few moments before quietly replying.  
“Yes.” in little more than a whisper. Unseen to him, Brian’s face lit up, a wide smile spreading on his face.    
“I would be honored.” He slipped down onto the cushions of the sofa. “Ross, look at me. You don’t have to be embarrassed, Ross.” He placed a gentle hand on Ross’s shoulder and squeezed. “Why don’t you come to my place after this and we will set some ground rules and you can tell me exactly what you need.”  Ross let most of his tension leave his body at the idea that Brian didn’t hate him or think he was gross. “Okay.” He smiled at Brian and leaned into the touch on his shoulder.  
\--  
Sitting in Brian’s living room, Ross stared at his hands and thought about what he was trying to do. Brian was his friend, one of his best friends. This kind of thing could seriously ruin their friendship if it got weird but… Ross trusted Brian, and he knew the older man had an idea of what he was doing. Before long, Brian returned carrying a paper plate with some cheeses sliced up and a roll of crackers in his other hand. He sat next to Ross and set out the snacks, turned slightly to face him.  
“Alright.” He leaned back against the cushions. “Tell me exactly what aspects of regression interest you.” Ross thought for a moment that Brian would make a good therapist, if he weren’t so happy with teaching.  “Well.. I want to be babied. Fed and clothed and entertained and guided.” He had thought a bit about how to phrase exactly what he wanted, so the words came easily.  
 “How do you feel about dominance and discipline? Each little needs guidance, and with that comes punishment.” Brian spoke like he had experience with this kind of thing before.    
“You mean like… spanking?”  
 “Among other things.”  
 At this Ross hesitated. He hadn’t thought much about that. “Can we start small?”  
 “Of course.” Brian nodded “I wouldn’t push you into this without letting you try things out.”   
Ross looked back down at his hands. “Will you kiss me?” He asked in a small voice and Brian thought for a moment that Ross was trying to act like a little.  “If you are comfortable with that, I would like it very much.” Brian told him simply. “Would you like this to be a casual thing, or are you asking for a relationship?”  
 “I want it to be casual at first and when it feels right I want to revisit and talk about… more.” Ross was expecting a question like this and he wasn’t really sure which Brian would prefer, so he was giving the man a choice.  “Alright. I hope you’re aware of the implications of this. I understand you’ll want to keep it private?” Meaning that not even the other grumps would know.  
“Absolutely.” Ross could imagine the ridicule that would follow if anyone found out.  Brian set up a cracker with some cheese and listed it to Ross’s lips.  
“Open” he commanded simply. Ross’s first test of obedience.  Shocked at first, Ross lifted up a hand to feed himself only to have his hand smacked away firmly. He hesitated only a moment before opening his mouth and letting Brian feed him the cracker.  Brian cracked a smile and let Ross take the cracker in two bites. “Good boy,” he praised, admiring the way Ross blushed at the praise. He waited for Ross to finish chewing. “Very good. In the future, and this is life advice too, don’t grab for something that is already being given to you.” He let his hand remain near Ross’s face and even cupped his jaw with his hand. “How was that? The cheese.”  Still blushing, Ross cleared his throat before speaking. “It was good. What kind was it?”  
-  
Ross stayed for several hours and in that time nothing really intense happened. He just sat next to Brian, the two of them watched a movie, exchanged questions every once in a while. Before long it was time for Ross to leave and he stood in the doorway, keys in hand.  “Thank you for this, Brian.” He smiled and looked back at the man. Brian lifted a hand to stroke Ross’s cheek and smiled softly.  “Its my pleasure.” He leaned in and placed a chaste kiss onto Ross’s lips, lasting only a few moments before he pulled back again.   
“Goodnight, baby.” He purred, watching a blush spread rapidly on Ross’s face.   
 “Goodnight” The younger man replied quickly and left, trying not to sprint to his car in Brian’s driveway. He stopped on the way home and took a moment to bury his face in his hands, trying to process what he felt. It felt like his stomach was trying to crawl out his throat, like his heart was swelling up inside his chest and if he didn’t scream it would burst out through his ribcage. He kept replaying that kiss in his mind, over and over, trying to figure out what Brian meant by it.  
He got home and Holly was just winding down for the night, sitting with a cup of cocoa on their sofa in the living room.

 “How did it go?” She asked, a mischievous grin on her face. She could see that Ross was still flustered and knowing his tendency to hold things in she patted the seat cushion next to her. “Come tell Holly everything.”    
“Well, he’s into it.”    
Holly’s eyes widened. “He? Who did you ask?”    
Ross hesitated. “Um.. Brian…”  
“Ohhhhhh” She nodded slowly in understanding. “Sorry, go on.”    
“He seems like he actually knows about this stuff but like, what isn’t Brian an expert on?” Ross continued and Holly took a long sip of her cocoa. “We’re going to keep it casual but I’m starting to think that Brian has been expecting this…”  
 “Oh?”  
 “He didn’t seem at all surprised when I brought it up.”   
Holly shrugged “Well you know Brian. He doesn’t really seem surprised about anything.”   
 “Yeah but it was different. Whatever, that doesn’t matter what does matter is that we made a time to hang out this Saturday and I’m really nervous.”  Holly kissed Ross’s cheek and got up to put her cup in the dishwasher.   
“Don’t sweat it babe, this whole thing is so you can relax, right?”   
“Right” Ross mumbled, reaching for the remote so he could turn the tv off. “Just got to relax.”  
\--  
Ross didn’t consider himself to be an obedient person. He did his own thing and if he happened to want to do something that someone else wanted him to do, it was just a happy coincidence. So how it was that he arrived ten minutes early to his first real session with Brian, he did not know. Something about Brian’s voice on the phone seemed stern. Ross wasn’t exactly sure what was waiting for him but it was definitely different from what he got.  
When he arrived, Brian was waiting for him. The coffee table had been removed from the living room and in its place were a plethora of toys and coloring books and dolls and blocks and almost anything Ross could imagine a child playing with. Brian invited him inside and ushered him not into the living room but down the hallway.  
“I have something for you. Don’t be afraid. It’s just something to help you get in the right mindset. I got it specifically for you.” Brian responded to Ross’s questions with a smile. He led Ross to the bathroom and as he was ushered inside, the younger man began to feel a twinge of fear. Brian gestured to the counter and there, sitting below a pair of fuzzy blue socks, was an adult-sized kigurumi. Ross was shocked at first but stepped closer, his fear melting away. He lifted the socks off and unfolded the soft blue garment, smiling when he realized what it was.   
“Is this from Blue’s Clues?” He asked, his voice rising in pitch with the question.   
 “It absolutely is. Would you like daddy to help you put it on?” Ross felt a shiver up his spine when Brian called himself ‘daddy’.   
He nodded.  “Please.” He put the pajamas backon the counter and didn’t turn when he heard the bathroom door close. Brian stepped behind him.   
 “Skinny Rabbit.” Ross did turn around at that.    
“What the hell is that?” His eyebrows furrowed in the middle. Brian frowned at him.   
“Didn’t your parents ever tell you skinny Rabbit? By the way, that kind of language is unacceptable.”  
“Sorry. But seriously what is Skinny Rabbit?”  
“It’s actually pretty grotesque for a term referring to undressing children. It basically means put your arms above your head so I can take your shirt off, but the term ‘Skinny’ wasn’t originally referring to how it makes you look thinner but rather how hunters would stretch out a dead hare’s legs so it would be easier to rip the skin off. It was originally ‘Skin the Rabbit’ and was shortened to ‘Skinny Rabbit’” Brian finished his speech and grabbed the hem of Ross’s shirt. “So skin the rabbit, Ross.”  
The younger man complied, holding his hands above his head. It felt less uncomfortable when Brian was talking. There wasn’t awkward silence so Ross didn’t really get to think about how weird this all was.   
“That’s really weird. Is that an American thing?” “I suppose so seeing as your parents never used it on you.” Brian folded Ross’s shirt loosely and set it on the counter, reaching for Ross’s pants zipper. He stopped Brian before he could touch.  
“Wait.” His voice wavered and Brian took his hands away.  
“I understand. Would you like me to turn around?” Brian offered.  “No, I just.. I’m not ready for you to.. you know.” Ross unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans and pushed them down past his hips, letting them pool at his ankles. Brian thought for a moment about defending himself, telling Ross that it wasn’t like that. He wasn’t going to touch him like that, but there was no need. Pushing the issue would only make it more awkward in the future.  
Once Ross was out of his pants, Brian grabbed the kigurumi off the counter and crouched by Ross’s legs.   
“Use me to balance, okay? Lift up your leg.” Ross obeyed and Brian slid on the first leg of the outfit, then asked Ross to repeat with the next. “Good boy,” Brian praised as he pulled it the rest of the way up. “Arm.” He requested and when Ross complied he slid each arm of the pajamas on one at a time. He zipped up the whole ensemble and pulled the hood over Ross’s head then pecked him on the cheek. “Good boy. Let’s go play.” He held Ross’s hand and led him out of the bathroom and back to the living room.  
At first Ross was a bit nervous, and then a bit reluctant and embarrassed. There he was getting dressed by his coworker, getting praised simply for getting his foot in the right hole. But then by the end, he understood what all those blogs were talking about. He felt his mind go pleasantly numb. At some point Brian had stopped being his coworker and had started becoming his caregiver. And it felt… good. He followed Brian back to the living room and sat in the middle of the array of toys. He reached for the coloring book first.   
“Where did you get all this?” He asked. He assumed it was Audrey’s but she was too young for some of the toys here.  
“I bought them for you. I figure if you don’t like them I can return them.” Neither Brian nor Ross had any idea what Ross’s little age was, or what toys would be appropriate. “Just do what feels natural, here, let daddy get you the crayons." Brian left Ross momentarily to grab the 24 pack of Crayolas from the bag on the counter, crouching down and handing the opened box to Ross who immediately poured them out on the ground. “Thank you daddy.” It felt awkward calling Brian daddy, like eating with a numb mouth. It felt like the right thing to do but it took a little bit of getting used to the sensation.  
Brian chuckled and got up again, walking to the tv and bringing back several Disney movies. “Which one do you want, baby?” Ross looked up from the coloring book pages and chose one.   
 “I want that one” he pointed to Mulan and went back to flipping through the pages, finally finding one he liked and sprawling himself out on his stomach as Brian started the movie. Brian sat on the couch as the previews started and Ross immediately decided he wanted none of that. “Daddyyy.” He called sweetly, causing Brian’s eyebrow to perk in amusement.  
“Yes, baby?”  
“Sit with me?” Ross gave one of his mischievous grins and Brian didn’t move a muscle.  
“What do you say?” Brian asked and Ross pressed his lips together.  
“Please sit with me?”  
Brian lifted himself from the couch and sat cross-legged on the floor with Ross, resting a hand on the man’s back. “Good boy. Such manners.” He watched Ross as he picked out the first color, letting himself relax as he just watched the way Ross’s face became calmer. It was like Brian could actually see the stress leaving Ross’s face. It was magical how something as simple as a blue’s clues kigurumi and a coloring book could completely transform Ross. Well almost completely. Ross kicked his feet in the air as he laid there, swinging them back and forward along with the songs in the movie when suddenly ‘thunk!’ Ross’s foot collided with Brian’s back. Brian turned and smiled down at him and Ross mumbled a quick apology but then ‘thunk!’ and a couple seconds later, ‘thunk!’ and finally Brian had to call Ross on his misbehavior.  “Ross. Why are you kicking daddy in the back?” His tone was level.  
“Because I feel like it.”  
It was clear to Brian what Ross was doing here. “Stop it. Daddy doesn’t like it.”  
“What’s daddy gonna do if I don’t?” Ross wasn’t looking up from his coloring book.  
“I’ll have to punish you.” Brian said firmly. He meant it. Ross looked him straight in the eye. There was a moment of stillness and then ‘thunk!’ Brian pressed his lips together and Ross felt a twinge of fear in his gut from the look in Brian’s eyes.  
“Ross.” Brian spoke very slowly. “I’m going to give you the opportunity to apologize.”  
Ross wanted to apologize, it felt bad when Brian looked at him the way he was, like his insides were trying to shrivel up and hide inside him. He just looked at Brian and shook his head. “No.” He refused curtly.  
Brian moved without hesitation, grabbing Ross by the arm and pulling him to his feet. Brian walked him over to the kitchen where he pulled out a dining chair and sat in it, pulling Ross across his knees. His voice was level, controlled. “I warned you, Ross. I said that I would need to punish you if you didn’t stop and what did you do? You misbehaved.” He wished that Ross had saved this limits testing extravaganza for when he was more comfortable with this whole thing because spankings were a fraction as effective when preformed on a clothed bottom. “How many times did you kick daddy in the back?”  
“Six.” Ross replied simply. He jumped in surprise as Brian smacked him hard on his ass, letting out a yelp of surprise and pain.  
“So you have five left. It’s only fair” Brian punctuated his last word with a hearty smack to Ross’s backside. He was overcompensating for the padding the layers of clothing gave Ross. The younger man cried out in pain and gripped onto Brian’s leg. Another strike and tears sprung to Ross’s eyes, his legs curled up in an effort to protect his bottom. Another and Ross was actually crying, biting his lips to prevent himself from pleading. Brian let the last two fall in quick succession, drawing sobs from Ross. Brian slipped his arms under Ross’s chest and legs, turning him over so he could sit in Brian’s lap. He curled in on himself regretting pushing Brian so hard. The older man made soft cooing noises to Ross and rubbed his back, letting him sit for a moment before lifting him and carrying him bridal style back to the couch. He sat with Ross on his lap and brushed back the hood of the pajamas, kissing Ross’s hair. “It’s okay baby. Shhhh… Let it out.” He let Ross cry for a couple minutes then pulled back. Ross himself knew he wasn’t crying because the spanking had hurt. It was a combination of shame and regret and also yes there was the pain.  
“Baby, look at daddy. Ross.” Brian waited until he had Ross’s attention. “You understand why I needed to do that, right?” He waited for Ross to nod. “Tell me why I needed to do that.”  
Ross sniffled. “Because you told me to stop and I didn’t.”  
“Yes, but beyond that. What does punishing you accomplish?”  
At this, Ross had to pause and think. “Its.. cause when daddy says something he means it?” He warranted a guess.  
Brian kissed his forehead. “Yes, baby. I need to make sure you know that when I say I’m going to do something, I’m not bluffing. Are you okay now baby?”  
Ross nodded even though he wasn’t really 100%.  
“Do you want some milk, apple juice, or do you want to go back to coloring?” Brian asked him gently.  
“Apple juice please.”


End file.
